I worked all day and now you want to know "what's for dinner??"

Working full time, mothering teenagers, experimenting in the kitchen, taking cooking classes, loving my partner and keeping up with my IIN studies have been quite the under-taking. I've appreciated the reminders from Ed and kiddos that I'm up for the challenge and am learning to forgive myself for skipping the 6AM yoga classes and the pounds that have accumlated around my mid-section. (I really do need to get back to the gym.)

It's amazing how much time I spend in the kitchen from the time I walk in the door to the time I collapse in bed. Truthfully, after spending hours in the kitchen every night, I understand why heating up food from Trader Joe's and going out to eat were the extent of my culinary expertise for the past 10 years as a single mom and how easy it would be to fall victim to our "fast food nation" mentality. I barely had the energy to help my kids with their homework at the end of the day, nevermind stopping at the store and cooking something from scratch! Now that my kids are a little more independant and I'm learning about "Primary Foods" at school, I'm determined (dare I say "destined"?) to figure out how to have a career, a relationship, highly functional kids and feed my family healthy home cooked meals without pulling all of my hair out or running away.

I've been testing all sorts of new recipes and adding new staples to the dinner rotation. When the words "wow, mom, this is really good!" fall from the lips of my shocked family after I've made something they've never tried before, I want to fall to my knees like Mia Hamm after scoring a goal.

Sad but true.

Today, meal planning, constant shopping, endless dishwashing and finding something everyone will eat at the end of a long work day, cause me more anxiety than distributing a report to one thousand engineers at work. I know it will get better... maybe not tomorrow or next week, but all of this trial and error will pay off because it's my destiny.

A few of our long time friends came over for dinner last week and it gave me tremendous joy to see them enjoying their meal. It was energizing to talk about things like: which ingredients I used, how to substitute plant based foods for animal products, why too much soy might not be a healthy option and the significance of "bio-individuality". After seeing the enthusiasm on our friends faces, it was amusing to hear my kids brag about the healthy food I make them eat. (where's this sentiment at dinner time when company isn't around??)  That taste of energy and passion is how I know I'm on the right track.

I'm learning how to be ok with the fact that I need to visit the store several times to pick up fresh produce, ask for help in the kitchen and involve the family in deciding on the meal experiments for the week.

I'd like to end our time together by sharing something profound that fellow IIN student, Nina Purcell, shared last week: "let food nurish your life, not be the focus of it". It kind of takes the pressure off of us, doesn't it?

Peace, love and veggies,

Susan